KDA Animation - This was very tricky to work with considering the files were so large, but the massive support I received for my WIPs gave me the motivation to finish it! Thanks so much to everyone who made my week by liking, reblogging, or following me.
Like I said–it’s not about being smart, or strong, or good at things. It’s about being the one to step up. That can be something big, like a heroic battle against a foe that terrifies you, or it can be something small, like refusing to give in to despair, or to accept that the world is sad and broken and the best we can hope for is to muddle along.
About such people are told the stories we remember most. You don’t have to save the world, Madoka. You just have to say, no. I will not give in.
Homura Akemi needs Extensive Therapy and a Hug: An Analysis
I know Madoka Magica discourse is super dead at this point in time, but I need to get some shit out of my system. I rewatched the entire series (again) and I seriously can not comprehend how people call Homura a bad character for what she did in Rebellion.
She is willing to trap herself in a Lotus Eater Machine of her own creation for the sake of protecting Madoka, and she doesn’t care if she has to suffer ceaseless torture for the rest of eternity in order to prevent the Incubators from getting their hands on the Law of Cycles.
The scene where she becomes a witch is particularly poignant, as it is both beautiful and terrifying as a reflection of Homura’s mental state. Reality around her begins to deconstruct as she comes to the realization that she is trapped in a labyrinth.
The bus she is riding on becomes engulfed in flames as grandfather clocks chime around her, representing her futile struggle against the passage of time and her devolving grasp on material existence.
The Clara Dolls appear before Homura as she is overcome with despair, in an avant-garde surrealistic paper cut out art style that serves as a physical manifestation of Homura’s perceived faults, such as arrogance and selfishness.
Homura’s color palette becomes distorted with fiery warm hues as her hair floats around her, and the ground she is kneeling on becomes replaced with a meadow of spider lilies. These flowers usually bloom near cemeteries during the autumnal equinox and are symbolic of death and loss. They are said to grow along the path when one is destined to never see someone again, which correlates with Homura’s relationship to Madoka.
The entire world is bleeding and burning all around her as Homura tears herself apart in a desperate attempt to kill Kyubey and herself. Homura’s misery overwhelms her as the otherworldly labyrinth unfolds around her, reflecting her state of psychological torment and anguish.
Suddenly, it cuts to a shot of Homura as a naive little girl again, watching in horror as Madoka takes the position of Christ on the cross.
She watches in agony as the love of her life through the ground and disappears, leaving behind only a pink splatter on the grass. This biblical allegory demonstrates Madoka’s self-imposed martyrdom, and how she ultimately sacrifices herself for the greater good and erases the memory of her existence from the minds of all of her loved ones, excluding Homura.
Homura is plagued by the haunting memory of losing the person she loved the most, and her very purpose in life is invalidated due to the lack of a savior figure for her to protect and dedicate herself to. Homura, in a frenzy of frustrated melancholy, obliterates an effigy of her younger self by pounding it into the dirt with her fists, hopelessly sobbing as she quite literally destroys herself. This scene also epitomizes the prominent Faustian allegory employed throughout the series: a horror imbued exemplification of the consequences of selling one’s soul to the devil.
This sequence of events also provides an introspective insight into the cognitive thought process of Homura’s mind as she is dragged into the depths of despair. Her desolation is so intense that she begins to hallucinate visions of her subconscious suffering and repressed traumatic memories, completely losing herself to her misery and losing contact with reality. Her experience of painful mental corruption reflects the debilitating condition of experiencing psychosis or schizophrenia, combined with the sorrows of living with severe depression. Her remaining mental faculties endlessly revolve around continuing her own self-victimization, her very consciousness ensnared with in a labyrinth made of her sins and regrets.
She is forced to relive the worst moments of her life ad nauseum for all eternity, watching helplessly as she is forced to mercy-kill Madoka in a timeline long abandoned.
She must also endure inhumane amounts of physical pain on top of the mental torture, as the familiars in her labyrinth are programmed to carry out her execution. She transforms into Homulilly, a physical embodiment of her guilt and sadness, and Homulilly is promptly decapitated by a guillotine. In the end, she becomes unable to do anything but suffer, while everything about her Witch shows how much she yearns for death. She willingly becomes completely disconnected from the Law of Cycles, which would be her only salvation from enduring a hellish fate worse than death, as she resigns herself to spending the rest of time in unbearable agony of her own free will, as she does it for the sake of protecting Madoka. She is content with this ceaseless torment because she is willing to do anything for the person she loves the most, and more significantly, because she thinks she deserves it.
Honestly, it’s blatantly obvious that she’s just a mentally ill teenager in need of serious help, and that her behavior stems from her instability. She was already in a bad mental state before the series even started, and the years of trauma and emotional torment only served to warp her mental state and self perception. She’s not a bad person. She’s a traumatized fourteen year old girl who’s doing everything in her power to save the person she loves the most. Even if she’s going against Madoka’s wishes, she truly believes she’s doing the right thing by creating the ideal life for her.
I could also go on a whole tangent about part of the reason why people characterize Homura as abusive/manipulative is because of the terribly ableist “Psycho Lesbian” trope that people tend to project onto her. People love to characterize wlw in media as being bad and predatory, despite the homophobic implications of regarding wlw characters as dangerous or “crazy.” Homura’s behavior is perfectly understandable when analyzed through a psychological lens. It’s obvious that she’s in a lot of pain, and her suffering becomes a catalyst for what she ends up doing at the end of Rebellion.
TL;DR: Homura Akemi isn’t a bad or selfish person. Although her actions are not particularly morally sound, referring to her as “abusive” is not only ableist as fuck, but plays into incredibly damaging homophobic stereotypes.
You see- i had a nightmare, you were so far away from me i couldn’t reach you anymore, and everyone had forgot about you. I was the only one who could remember you! I was so lonely and sad, and no one could understand how i felt, in the end, i started thinking all my memories of you where a lie.
And we keep loving anyway We laugh and we cry And we break And we make our mistakes And if there’s a reason I’m by her side When so many have tried Then I’m willing to wait for it I’m willing to wait for it
I am the one thing in life I can control I am inimitable I am an original I’m not falling behind or running late I’m not standing still I am lying in wait
